A simple, “hello mam. How are you doing? Can you spare
me two minutes of your time?” will do. But know guys prefer the hard way of
getting a girls attention by creating monkey pick-up lines, not even my younger
sister will fall for. To their testosterone controlled mindset they seem to believe
that pick-up lines are romantic, not considering how degrading they are to the opposite
sex. They might work in Hollywood movies, but in reality they are actually ruining
the only chance the guy has with the opposite sex. RTR collected the worst pick-up
lines from the askmen website, and I must say even Bhuti Madlisa is better than
what I came across.
1.
My penis just died; can I bury it in your ass?
This is wrong, honestly beyond wrong. Say this to me
and you will be my ticket to the Sun City prison. It’s offensive, rude, and ratchet.
Firstly you've just met me and you are telling me about your penis. Secondly that
penis you telling me about now wants a taste of my behind. Do I look like Amber
Rose to you? I trust hip hop wannabe to be pulling this line. Guys loose it, or
you won’t get any babzing ever.
2.
My love for you is like diarrhea - I just can't keep
it in.
Pheew pheew sis man. The guy probably worked hard
preparing this one. Trust me the hard work would not pay off. Love is beautiful,
wonderful and amazing. Diarrhea on the other had is ugly, stinky, and disgusting.
How can you ever, if you are a sane human being compare the two? What happened
to guys comparing love with roses, lakes, birds, angels etc. now love is
compared to shit? I trust university of Johannesburg (UJ) guys to pull this
one.
3.
Your dad must be a terrorist because he made a bomb.
You see why guys must watch chick flick movies,
because of this pick-up line. Ever heard of a quote “a dad is a daughter’s
first love”. I doubt guys have heard it, cause they hardly say it in thriller
and action movies. You can never talk about the girl’s father, during your first
conversation with her. How, dare you? Who are you to compare my dad to a
terrorist? Let alone compare his daughter to a bomb? If you don’t want a kick
in your balls loose that line. I trust military guys to say that, or ex-convicts.
4.
If I was a fly, I'd land on you first. Because you're
the shit.
Here we go again comparing me to shit. Shit may work
on the girls you hook up with at Summit club, but your definition of shit does
not exist in my dictionary. My Zulu- English dictionary defines shit as IKAKA. A
fly feed on shit. You are telling me that you want to land on me in order to
feed on me, to taste my goodies. I trust Soweto guys to use this these one. When
they look at you they see shit.
5.
Are those space pants? Because your ass is out of this
world.
A lesson guys. You do not compliment a girls behind
ever, unless you are long term couple. As big and curvy the behind might be. Just
save your comments about it. You might mean well, but a girl might take it as
an insult. My behind is my business, and do not think I’ll go out with you
after making reference to my behind. Nicki Minaj may like it and roger that. Some
girls may pull a Solange Knowles on you. I trust afrotainment guys to use this
one. Especially Dj Tira.
Guys please get a copy of Shakespeare sonnets, watch
Titanic, and listen to Joe Thomas and Brian McKnight songs. I am telling you,
you will have five dates in a week.
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